Our bodies are in an ongoing conversation with our minds and vice-versa. Sometimes, we listen and we hear. Other times, one or the other side does not get the message across until some damage has been sustained. As a practitioner of Chinese medicine (CM), I hold that we reflect our environment and our environment reflects us. What, then, can we learn from our lifelong conversations between mind and body? And how, ultimately, do these exchanges reflect (and are reflected) by our environments?
If you ponder it, there are specific areas where most people do not listen unless they are compelled. Pain, fear, and a sense of chronic lurking danger are all areas that tend to fly under the radar until there is no other option but to listen. On the other hand, the more accessible conversations can relate to deciding not to accept cultural messages about weight, for instance, or age. It is entirely possible to learn to listen and to hear. Learning how to hold space for yourself as you check in with your body is a way to begin. Self-care practices like acupuncture or meditation or tai chi (just to name a few) create avenues for clear communication too.
The first step towards learning to listen is a bit like needing to eat your vegetables before you get to your dessert (assuming you’re not a fan of vegetables and you really love your dessert). Yes. It’s learning to sit with pain.
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Sitting with physical pain, chronic or otherwise
I want to go on record to say that I’m a little leery of the “retrain your brain” contingent. I work with a lot of chronic pain patients because one of my super-specialty areas is HSD/hEDS (hypermobility spectrum disorder/hypermobile Ehlers Danlos syndrome). People who live with chronic pain are no strangers to being accused of somatization, which is when a person’s emotional issues are expressed via unpleasant physical symptoms. Especially if every test and screening comes back inconclusive, this is the go-to diagnosis of choice. Even worse are programs that “teach” patients to discount or minimize their pain, and those exist too.
At the same time, it does lighten the load when we learn to sit with our discomfort, extreme as it may be. Our bodies are communicating with us in this context and what our minds say in response does make a difference in how we experience pain.
I am a person who ignores pain. I recently learned a definitive lesson about blowing off what my body tells me when I shoved a wheeled stool away from one of the massage tables in my office. I fell, dear reader, right on my hip (fortunately I have bones of steel but I can’t say the same for my soft tissues). I jumped up and ignored that. And then, less than a week later, I tripped going up the stairs to my home, more likely than not because I was still off-balance from the previous fall. This was harder to ignore because I skinned my knee and knuckles and was bleeding, but I gave it my best shot.
Before I knew it though, my body went into rebellion. I had no choice but to listen, as you can see from this quote from another blog post:
“From my muscles that became tight and hard like iron rods to my sinews that were now alternating between being suddenly very loose to becoming tight and feeling like they were fraying and about to break, I was injured. Painsomnia? Oh, yes, lots of that. Limping? Yes, with every step. Being unable to eat and losing thirty pounds in eight weeks because I have no appetite (who can eat when you’re in agony all the time?), yes. And so forth. I had periods where I genuinely thought a wheelchair was going to be in my near future…”
—Healed vs. Cured: A Not-So-Simple Life
Things could have been so different had I listened.
And what about chronic pain? It’s inescapable and it goes nowhere. A person doesn’t have much of a choice: they have to listen. But does this listening need to be a never-ending torture? How about gentle forms of listening, like: when you’re tired, you listen to your body and you rest, or if you become overwhelmed, you give yourself permission to work with a chronic illness psychotherapist. Maybe you do decide to undertake brain retraining so that you process your pain differently. But you listen, and as much as possible, you respond to your body. Your mind doesn’t minimize your pain. You do not ignore warning signals.
That’s hard for people with chronic illness and/or a high pain tolerance. But it’s an important skill to develop.
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Chronic stress speaks too
Chronic stress has a language.
The constant drumbeat of fear and anxiety and/or unresolved trauma can lead to sleep problems, inflammatory conditions, and/or muscle tension that leads to chronic pain. Running on adrenaline every day until your last nerve is frayed will give you some messages you cannot ignore, at least not forever. Same goes for altered cortisol levels due to relentless anxiety and rumination. Let’s not forget the gut-brain axis that expresses stress via stomach upset or IBS.
It can be especially hard to listen to your body’s messages if there really isn’t a lot you can do to change the triggering situation. If you need to keep your job until you find another, that awful boss or unpleasant office environment is going to do what it does, whether it’s keeping you up all night worrying or you crave sweets and indulge yourself way more than is healthy. Stuffing our messages down with less-than-healthy food or distractions like being on the computer or doomscrolling on your phone only kicks the can down the road, right? It’s worth your attention though, to listen. Even when you can’t change the immediate situation, listening gives you the opportunity to soften whatever hard edges you can, and it helps you to be your healthiest, calmest best under the circumstances.
Keep in mind: ignoring things can will only go so far before the messages get loud enough. Exhaustion, digestive issues, and more will eventually force you to listen, if only long enough to go to the doctor and get a prescription for anti-depressant medication. Which, by the way, may not help you at all and in fact could very well be a placebo:
“‘These [placebo-controlled] trials set out to measure depression as if it were high blood pressure, disregarding the obvious fact that human emotions are not readily amenable to being quantified. […]. It is doubtful that antidepressant trials tell us much at all, therefore, but if we accept these trials on their own terms, they reveal that antidepressants are barely better than a placebo, and the small difference detected is likely to be accounted for by amplified placebo effects’ (123).”
—Chemically Imbalanced: A Review and Some Replies
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So what can you do?
First and foremost: pay attention. How do you speak to yourself? Do you look at your own body and tell yourself you are fat or old or lacking in muscle (or whatever critical observations pertain to your situation)? If so, it may be worth your while to practice turning things around. Think about affirming things to say about yourself and your body. Appreciate your body, for it is the home of your mind! Practice mindfully listening to any negative messages you have imbibed and replace them with kinder, gentler narratives.
When we live under constant anxiety, it is crucial to tend to our sense of safety (or lack of same).
There are a number of different ways to give yourself permission to relax and to soften the sharp edges of anxiety or chronic fight-or-flight. It may not sound entirely appealing and it does take some practice, but even five minutes a day of meditation can help to restore a frayed nervous system.
Breathwork can be an excellent resource, too, as can grounding. When we practice grounding, we look for ways to bring our body and mind into an accord. We feel the earth beneath our feet and connect with the energy of the land. Breathwork, for its part, can be as simple as prolonged exhales that restore inner peace or, conversely, it can become a well-honed skill that relies on several different breathing techniques. Either way, your breath is but one connection between your mind and your body and your feet are your connection with the support systems beneath you.
As an acupuncturist, of course I will suggest Chinese medicine. A nap on the table as you let the needles work their magic offers a strong message to your inner self that you are safe. And if you’re not too keen on the idea of acupuncture needles? You have options, from bodywork therapy (tui na, pronounced “twee nah” is a form of medical massage and it’s heavenly) to biomagnetism and more…
“Magnets can be great for pain relief, they can be fantastic for tendon and ligament health, and they may improve sleep, smooth anxiety levels, and support stronger digestion. In essence, I move qi with magnets the way I can with acupuncture needles and patients are amazed at the results. Heck, when I started using magnets, I was amazed by the results I was getting.”
—Magnet Therapy: How It Works, What It Can Do For You (It’s Amazing)
Learning how to listen to your body’s messages and doing what you can to respond appropriately and lovingly can be a lifelong practice. There is always something to learn about yourself and so many ways to teach yourself to listen. Finding ways to slow down and open the ears of your heart to what your body truly needs from you is a skill worth cultivating.
What do you think?
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Dr. Paula Bruno, Ph.D., L.Ac., is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist, an AOBTA-CP traditional Chinese bodywork therapist, a health coach, and an author. She maintains an active and growing practice at her Austin, TX office. Dr. Bruno is also available for distance appointments for wellness consultation or coaching.
In her first career, she was a Spanish professor.
Dr. Bruno’s specialties as a Chinese medicine practitioner include: • Musculoskeletal health (acute or chronic pain relief; Ehlers Danlos syndrome & hypermobility support) • Digestive support, gut health, and weight loss • Aesthetic treatment, including scar revision • Men’s health • General preventive care and wellness support for all persons.
She is the author of Chinese Medicine and the Management of Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: A Practitioner’s Guide. Dr. Bruno also maintains a second website, holistichealthandheds.com, with resources and information curated specifically for people with hEDS and HSD.
When you are ready to discover what traditional medicine plus a vibrant and engaged approach to holistic health can do for you, either contact Dr. Bruno or book an appointment online.
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Note: Material on this web site site is not intended to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease, illness, or ailment. A Chinese medicine practitioner in Texas identifies syndrome patterns but does not diagnose illness. Material on this web site does not purport to identify syndrome patterns.
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