Assuming that the reader of this particular blog post is male, my question for you, dear reader, is this: do you choose self-care or do you tend towards benign self-neglect that borders on self-sabotage? If you are like most guys I’ve met in the clinical space, your honest answer is going to be that you lean towards the second option.
This is probably not because you are a slacker or you are deliberately obtuse about how you treat yourself. In reality, guys are not necessarily socialized to find self-care masculine or aligned with a self-image that leans towards the unforgiving.1 Guys tend to struggle with mental health challenges that they’d prefer to ignore, their mortality rate is higher, and–let’s be real here–it is no fun for anybody when erectile dysfunction becomes a factor.2
Men aren’t always sure where to begin if they want to try something other than biomedical treatments that often involve pharma drugs. Have you ever wondered what else is available to you beyond the prescriptions you can get from your MD or psychiatrist?
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So where do you start, if you want to change your relationship to yourself and your self-care?
Excellent question!
And though I have some worthy blog posts already in circulation (as you see here, below), there is a lot more to say about you and your wellbeing. Stick with me, dear reader, and see how you can be inspired to embrace holistic and life-enhancing possibilities for you.
One thing to keep in mind is that the concept of holistic health covers a lot of territory. When we consider the idea, it helps to think about the whole person, from the physical to the spiritual and everything in between. The foundations of Chinese medicine view individual health in this way, and we see it as reflective of the social and world fabric that contains the single entity. In other words: you are reflective of your environment and your environment is reflective of you. That may sound complicated, but really? It’s not, or at least…it doesn’t have to be.
Relevant blog posts:
“Men’s Health & Why It’s On My Radar (Thoughts From a Holistic Practitioner)”
and
“Men’s Health: What Student Clinic Taught Me About Erectile Dysfunction (And What Chinese Medicine Can Do About It)”
What does good health mean to you?
When were you at your most healthy and what were the factors that made that good health available to you? What has changed since then?
Life circumstances may have gotten in the way of your wellbeing. That could mean being stuck in a stressful job. It could be that you experienced a significant traumatic event, like death of a loved one or an accident that left you injured. It could be that you are dealing with a lot of little chronic stressors that are beginning to pile up and become big problems. Things change, and sometimes, your wellbeing is the casualty.
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Also: getting older happens to all of us, if we’re lucky, and aging is not for sissies. You definitely have to choose to remain awesome when the normal course of a lifespan begins its later stages. But remaining awesome is certainly within your grasp if you decide to take good care of yourself.
What can you do now?
One great option is Chinese medicine. Depending on your practitioner’s interests and specialty areas, they might start by addressing your gut health, for example. Another place to begin might be via any emotional scars that are making themselves felt in your daily life. Helping you to improve your digestion, to do something about your blood sugar or blood pressure, and/or to get you to sleep better or to feel less angry and short-tempered are all things that make a guy’s life so much better in the long run and in the short term.
What I have found in my work with men is that they tend to come for treatment when a partner urges them to do so. In that case, it’s usually because the partner is a fan of acupuncture. Otherwise, men set appointments because whatever pharmaceutical drugs they are taking aren’t working and the guy is feeling desperate enough to try something new. Erectile dysfunction and not wanting to rely on pharma is another reason why guys will try Chinese medicine. (And it should be no surprise that I am leery of mainstream biomedical drugs for ED–the common side effects aren’t all that pleasant and the so-called “uncommon, severe side effects” are genuinely frightening).3
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But why wait around until things are dire? And you don’t need to wait until your partner nags you to start treating yourself well. Shifting your relationship with your own wellbeing is a choice to make for yourself and on your own steam, if you ponder it.
Think about what health means to you and hearken back to when you felt your best. Ask yourself what has changed since then.
Next step?
Relevant blog posts:
Getting Started With an Acupuncturist: Why Wait?
and
Getting Started With a Health Coach: Why Wait?
or even
Getting Started With a Personal Trainer: Why Wait?
Do something
Whether it’s working with an acupuncturist or a health coach…whether you choose psychotherapy or a personal trainer…maybe you want to do some reading or find a local men’s group or a yoga a tai chi class online…just do something.
You deserve to be your best, happiest, healthiest version of you!
As I wrote in the blog post about why men’s health is on my radar (linked above), my closeness to the subject is in part from growing up in a gym environment and in part from my first career as a professor. This affinity has only grown over the course of my medical practice. When guys come for their initial appointment, they may be a little shy or unwilling to open up and that is just fine. I’m not a psychotherapist. I’m your favorite Spanish professor turned acupuncturist who wants good things for you and who believes in your ability to learn and grow. I meet you where you are today, with the confidence that your tomorrow is going to be much, much better.
We all have areas in our lives that could use some improvement or support. And self-care is in no way selfish. Guys seem to have a little bit of trouble accepting these ideas, but once they start? They become unstoppable. And you, dear reader, can do the same. Health, self-knowledge, and self-care become a part of your life with benefits that extend to your environment and the people around you. Definitely a win-win, and not selfish at all.
Are you ready to do something meaningful about your wellbeing?
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Dr. Paula Bruno, Ph.D., L.Ac., is a licensed acupuncturist and herbalist, an AOBTA-CP traditional Chinese bodywork therapist, a health coach, and an author. She maintains an active and growing practice at her Austin, TX office. Dr. Bruno is also available for distance appointments for wellness consultation or coaching.
In her first career, she was a Spanish professor.
Dr. Bruno’s specialties as a Chinese medicine practitioner include: • Musculoskeletal health (acute or chronic pain relief; Ehlers Danlos syndrome & hypermobility support) • Digestive support, gut health, and weight loss • Aesthetic treatment, including scar revision • Men’s health • General preventative care and wellness support for all persons.
She is the author of Chinese Medicine and the Management of Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome: A Practitioner’s Guide. Dr. Bruno also maintains a second website, holistichealthandheds.com, with resources and information curated specifically for people with hEDS and HSD.
When you are ready to discover what traditional medicine plus a vibrant and engaged approach to holistic health can do for you, either contact Dr. Bruno or book an appointment online.
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- See “How Male Neglect of Self-Care Affects Their Partners.” ↩︎
- Refer to “Men’s Health Month: Five things to know” for a quick sketch of men’s more pressing concerns. For general statistics on common chronic health problems that are ever-increasing here in the United States, see “Nearly 1 in 10 Adults Have Chronic Conditions Like Diabetes, Heart Disease.” ↩︎
- Read all the way to the bottom of “7 Common Side Effects of Erectile Dysfunction Medication” for both the common and the rare side effects of ED drugs. ↩︎
Two Hearts Wellness 
Such a great article! Women tend to really go down the rabbit hole when it comes to their health. Where the men in my life feel that they are strong and whatever is ailing them will be better next week. 🙂 But looking after yourself as a man is just so important. As women we tend to look after the men but they have to want to exercise and do all the things needed to get the best out of their lives. Thanks for highlighting this.
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I agree with you, men in general do not exercise self-care to the point of self-sabotage. For me, COVID pushed me to start exercising self-care through therapy, acupuncture, physical activity and sensible eating, etc. Thanks for sharing; its inspirational.
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